Dave DiRienzo's Story
What was your first job? I worked in the one-hour photo department of the K-Mart in Edwardsville. They told me to wear gloves when handling the photo processing chemicals, but I couldn’t be bothered, which explains a lot of things.
What was your worst job? I spent almost a year as the customer service phone rep for a local car dealership. They gave me a 15-question script to work from. By my last day, I had it whittled down to two: “How would you rate your overall (dealer name) experience between 1 and 10?” and “Would you like to add anything else?” If more telemarketers worked like that, the world might be a better place.
How did you get started in radio? By committing a crime. Seriously. I was an intern when I was 17 and on my first day, the promotions director told me to go buy him a pack of smokes before I did anything else. Who knew that buying one pack of Marlboro Mediums (and keeping the change...booyah!) would change my life so much?
What do people tell you or ask you the most? “Do you guys really drink beer on Friday mornings with Chip the Beer Guy?” Yes we do. (Sometimes we practice for Chip’s segment on Mondays and Tuesdays, but never on Wednesdays or Thursdays. Okay, sometimes Wednesdays. And occasionally Thursdays.)
What do like to do when you're on free time? Read, play poker, watch football, play soccer, take a walk in the woods, take an aimless drive and listen to great music.
Musically, who are your favorite artists? Galactic, the Black Crowes, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Led Zeppelin, the Beastie Boys, the Beatles, The Streets, Stereophonics, Keb Mo, and way too many others to properly list.
What is the craziest thing you've ever done? After a Russian killed my best friend in a fight, I challenged him to a fight in his home country. I ended up winning and speeding up the downfall of cummunism in the process, but it was pretty stupid of me.
If you could invite anyone to dinner (dead or alive) who would it be? Henry Rollins.
Do you have any pets? If by “pets,” you mean animals I’m in charge of feeding and taking care of, then yes, I do. They’re named Daniels and Webster.
What is your most annoying habit? I’m more disorganized than anyone else in the state of Pennsylvania.
If you had a theme song what would it be? Any of the following: “Loser” by Beck, “I’m a Loser” by the Beatles, “Too Much Time On My Hands” by Styx, “Have a Drink On Me” by AC/DC, or “Short People” by Randy Newman.
If they made Rock 107 a movie, your part would be played by... Probably Vin Diesel, although if they were working on an actual Rock 107 budget, it would probably be the first homeless guy smelling like Jack Daniel's they could find.
Did you ever have a brush with fame? I met Jack Palance before he died. I’m sure meeting me was one of the high points of his life, right after doing the one-armed push-ups at the Oscars.
Three things you can’t live without:
1. Music
2. Sparkling conversation
3. Soda (I’m seriously addicted)
What is your favorite junk food? Old Forge Style pizza
Who are your personal heroes? My parents, Henry Rollins, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Dr. Seuss, Bill Hicks, and anyone else who is completely genuine to themselves.
Where are your favorite hangouts? The Comedy Dojo, Cooper’s, 130 Brixx, my apartment, or anywhere I’m surrounded by cool people.
Tell us your dirty little secret. I’m the reigning monarch of a small European nation living in exile in the United States. I got pushed off the throne because I was importing redheaded supermodels to mother dozens of my children, creating a master race of smart-assed redheaded short guys, but the good people of Klfcnsuemenistan banished me because they were afraid of what the next generation of DiRienzos would do.
What's that? You never heard of Klfcnsuemenistan? Learn some geography, scumbag.
Here's your chance to make your case. What drives your love for soccer? Briefly forgetting the fact that I played soccer since I was 8, I also lived in England. You can't live in England and NOT grow to love soccer, it's impossible. It's also because soccer might be the closest thing to poetry-in-motion there is. Soccer is constantly changing, it's a hard game to play, and it's beautiful when it's done right.
It's the most popular sport in the world and yes, there is a way to figure out who the best teams are. Unlike the North American sports leagues (which I also love, but for different reasons), teams can compete in different leagues at the same time. For instance, Chelsea (my favorite soccer club) participates in the English Premier League, the English FA tournament, the Carling Cup tournament, and the European Champions League. (It would be like having Notre Dame play their usual schedule, a full NFL schedule, the NFL playoffs, and a few single-elimination high school tournament games in the same timespan as well.)
Plus, it's the same the world over. The rules don't change from England to Spain to Germany, or even to Ghana which means that we can truly crown a WORLD champion.
I guess the bottom line is that I just love soccer. If you don't--fine. But don't call it boring or slow, because baseball is a hundred times slower and more boring than soccer.
If you drop something, what are your thoughts on the 5 second rule?
To be honest, in my house, it's a three-second rule, but only because I don't clean the floors very often.
Wal-Mart or Target? Target, but only because it's a slightly more upscale selection of plastic junk.
